you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
