HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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