I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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