Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
