Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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