you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
