Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
