Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
