Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
