I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
