Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
