So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
