i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
