problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
