This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
