beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize