I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
