I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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