Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so much tequila, so little girl.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
