do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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