do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
