2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
