I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
