I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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