If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
