Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
