he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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