Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize