I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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