I just cut my nipple shaving
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
