Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You may now shotgun with the bride
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
