And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
