My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
