dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
