I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
