I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
did you just send me my own nude
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
