Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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