Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
