It's Friday. Sex?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My dick has a subreddit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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