i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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