Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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