Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize