she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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