wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
