So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
