Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You know, be my cock's hype man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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