it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
