Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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