let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
