I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
