Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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