Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
