Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
