I'm drive I can fine osifer
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i've created a new STD.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize