we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How does it feel to date your dad?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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