Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
