I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
