covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
