Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
