Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
