I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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