I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
