Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
