it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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