you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
