I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
