areolas are like halos for boobs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
