i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
