Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

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(707): View more from California

Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

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(509): View more from Washington

i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

Fav 8 2084 997
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(217): View more from Illinois

it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him

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(+48): View more from Poland

It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.

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(817): View more from Texas

I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night

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