don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
